Guilt Trap Read online

  Guilt Trap

  You may pay for your mistakes more than once!

  by

  H A Dawson

  ©2013 H A Dawson

  (Honor Amelia Dawson)

  Stoats and Swan Publishing

  Smashwords Edition

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  This is a work of fiction. Any characters, names, organisations, places, events or situations are either imaginary or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

  This book contains material protected under International and U.K Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorised reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author and publisher.

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  http://www.honadawson.com

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  Other Titles

  Luke Adams Series

  Book 1: Girl On A Train

  Book 2: One Big Lie

  Book 3: Silent Screams

  Book 4: Naive Retribution

  Novellas

  Back Road

  Guilt Trap

  Separates

  Dark Places

  Underlined titles show active web links

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  “At times, our strengths propel us so far forward we can no longer endure our weaknesses and perish from them.”

  Dedication

  Friends past and present whose forbearance is eternally etched into my wordcraft

  Guilt Trap - The story premise

  Several years have passed since Maddie's father died, she's now emotionally settled. Life's compensated her with some good friends, an engaging and unique business that benefits the local community.

  Maddie has immersed herself into her vocation, gaining admiration and vital sponsorship. Much to her mounting frustration someone has tampered with the foundation's website, spreading malicious lies, alerting everyone to Maddie's unsavoury childhood.

  The situation needs to be handled delicately, it's essential these matters are resolved soon. Maddie hires Luke Adams and Imogen Morrison to investigate, it's best done with the utmost discretion and haste. The story ramps up when background checks reveal some vital information. But has it been relayed too late?

  Luke and Imogen move at breakneck speed there's so much at stake!

  Table of Contents

  Guilt Trap

  Other titles available from this author

  Guilt Trap - Story brief

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  H A Dawson - Catalogue

  H A Dawson - Catalogue

  H A Dawson

  Chapter 1

  Whilst by Josh's side, waiting for her award presentation, Maddie's head resonated from distant voices, a humiliating reminder of the troublesome past with her father. She focused on the speaker, determined these thoughts should not disrupt her moment. Yet, her anxieties remained; her eyes unseeing, her ears unhearing, and her hands fidgeting with her blouse, searching for creases, checking the roundness of her stomach as it pressed against the silky fabric.

  Josh, her partner, caught her attention. ‘Just enjoy it, and be proud.’

  Her name's announced and encouraged by his words she strode up the makeshift stage, where she shook hands with the members of the council and absorbed the welcome sound of acclamation. Then she went into business mode, with her more worrisome persona shrouded by a confident façade.

  ‘… I accept this award with great honour on behalf of the Stop Bullying Foundation, its members, its supporters, and everyone affected by bullying. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has made our journey possible, no matter big or small. Without your support, we would not exist.’

  Warmed by the appreciative clapping, Maddie’s eyes drifted across the sun-drenched crowd to the members of the council, the press, and the family groups who had chosen to spend the afternoon at the centre. It was a good turnout; some of their regular visitors were present, which was to be expected, but there were also people there she didn’t recognise. Some may have come to see the animals and enjoy the café and woodland experience; others, like the subdued ginger-haired girl standing at the guinea pig animal pen may be searching for help.

  Whilst the woman from the council made a brief comment about the foundation, Maddie made a mental note to check her out as she scanned the crowd for her staff. Jodi, her key member and long-term friend appeared to be disapproving of a conversation with Earl, their senior groundsman, whilst Kelly, a new member of her team, was chatting amiably with a family group.

  ‘Miss Watson,’ a journalist said, breaking her from her musing, ‘Do you have any personal connections with bullying?’

  Her throat dried. Even though she it knew it was necessary, she hated talking about her past, and explained as succinctly as possible how she had been bullied by her father from the age of five and to her late teens. ‘It was both physical and mental.’

  ‘Care to elaborate?’

  ‘I’d prefer not to.’ She glanced over to Josh and drew strength from his encouraging expression. ‘Bullying is not an acceptable form of treatment or punishment, whether it’s between an adult and child or at peer level. We must do all we can to help it stop. Tolerating bullies is not an option, but they must be understood. There is always a cause. Sometimes it’s hidden.’

  ‘Why do you think bullying occurs?’

  ‘It’s common in animal groups and used as a way of learning about dominance and hierarchy. Take monkeys as an example. Wallace, a dominant male, bites a younger male, Jez, who screams and runs away. The other members of the group witness this, and since they fear that Jez’s weakness may put the entire group in danger, they join in the attack. Jez will either be ousted from the group or will start to fight back.’ She paused, took a breath of air, and glanced at the listening crowd. ‘What happens in our society is the same. One child instigates the bullying, and unless the victims stand up for themselves, others may join in. Either way, the situation worsens.’

  ‘So victims need to fight back?’

  ‘I believe developing self-confidence is key, which is why we use animals as a teaching aid. As a rule, animals are reluctant receivers of overly heavy petting, and they will try to escape. That’s not beneficial to either party as the pleasure ends.’ She paused, reaching for a sip of water. ‘We have a series of programmes used to teach empathy, understanding and social interaction, as well as to increase self-confidence. Leaflets are available and detail what’s on offer.’

  After explaining that there were programmes for the bully as well as the victim, the question and answer session ended. She offered her thanks to the crowd, and grateful to be away from the limelight stepped towards Josh who was standing a few metres away.

  ‘You were brilliant,’ he said, kissing her on the lips.

  ‘I’m glad it’s over. I hate public speeches.’

  ‘You’d never know.’ He looked at the door leading to their private quar
ters, passed her a hopeful glance, and snaked his arm around her waist. ‘Five minutes for your biggest supporter?’

  ‘I’d love to, but …’ She glanced over her shoulder, looking to the officials gathered in a group. ‘I think I might be missed.’

  ‘Not as much as I’ll miss you if I don’t get you alone,’ he said and nuzzled his face into her neck.

  Maddie giggled and pushed him away. ‘Stop it! There are cameras everywhere.’

  ‘Who cares? I’m not ashamed.’

  ‘Neither am I, but that’s not the point. I have to mingle. It’ll help with the publicity and potential sponsors.’

  ‘You’re very passionate about this, aren’t you?’

  She nodded a cautious reply. Their relationship was only a few months old, and whilst she had shared much relating to her passion, she had said very little relating to the driving force behind her efforts, and it caused an uncomfortable stirring in her gut. Of her current community of friends only Jodi knew of the true reason for making bullying her life’s work, and whilst keeping things from Josh was not preferable to their blossoming relationship, she considered it the best option. In addition, she was far too ashamed to speak of the atrocities that had occurred, and so willing the conversation onto something more appealing, she cast him a nervous glance.

  ‘You deserve every bit of this reward,’ he said. ‘From what I’ve seen over these last few months, your effort has been above and beyond what was necessary.’

  ‘Some of the kids out there are so …’ she stopped abruptly, remembering the little girl by the guinea pig pen, and the desolate look in her eyes, the terror, and the total lack of self worth. ‘I’m sorry. Can we do this later? I’ve just remembered there’s something I have to do.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Later … sorry.’

  Leaving him baffled, Maddie weaved through the crowd and searched for the ginger-haired girl she had seen by the guinea pig pen. But her progress was limited, as every few steps she was lavished with praise, with people commenting on her speech, the centre, and the foundation. Whilst she was grateful, the girl presented a more pressing concern, causing her to make several hasty retreats.

  Eventually, she arrived at the row of pens. Family groups were watching the animals, and making light-hearted chatter and creating merriment. However, the little girl was not within view, and concerned, Maddie trotted along the row and scanned the dispersing crowd. It proved fruitless. Having decided to check inside the café, she started back towards the building and spotted Earl on route.

  ‘Have you seen a girl with ginger hair?’ she asked. ‘She was alone by the guinea pig pen when I was making my speech.’

  ‘I did see her. She went along one of the woodland walks. Is there a problem?’

  ‘I’m just concerned. She had a look on her face I’ve seen before.’ She started away. ‘Thanks Earl.’

  She hurried into the shadowy woodland, travelled along the meandering path and passed strolling individuals. A few people wandered along the trail, with some stopping to read the signs displaying potential sightings of flora and fauna. Walking on by, she arrived at a row of large pens housing chickens. Some contained rare breeds with a bouffant crest of feathers, used mainly for show, whilst others were brown egg-laying hybrids.

  Despite her progress, the little girl was not visible. Even though she feared she had missed her opportunity, she continued to the end of the short path leading back to the building. She was about to return to her duties when she caught sight of a fleeting movement in her eye corner.

  Moving quickly, the ginger haired girl disappeared from view, hiding behind a large bramble bush a few metres from the path. Maddie hesitated to act. She didn’t want to stride across for fear of scaring her, and believed she needed to be gentle. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, she strolled towards her, voicing her approach as though it was a game.

  As soon as the youngster saw her, she darted from view. Maddie was quick to react, and grabbed her attention by voicing her sorrow in a pleading voice. The girl softened, and whilst appearing scared, did as instructed and sank to the grass.

  Maddie learned her name was Hailey, and although reluctant to speak of the issues so evidently concerning her, Hailey hinted of a connection to her family. Saturday afternoons were her only chance to get out, and even then, Maddie wasn’t certain her parents knew her location.

  ‘Where do you live?’ Maddie asked.

  ‘Around the corner. Ainsley Street.’

  ‘Would you like to join one of our classes next Saturday? They’re an hour long and start at two o’clock. You’d be with other children your age, and you’ll spend time with the animals.’

  Hailey’s face lit up, but almost as quickly, her troubled expression re-emerged. ‘I have no money.’

  ‘How about we make it my treat?’

  She thought about it for a moment, and then nodded her enthusiastic reply.

  Deciding she had done all she could, Maddie rose to her feet and asked Hailey if she could accompany her back to the centre. Hailey refused, muttered something about having to get back home, and ran back through the woodland.

  A smile slid to Maddie’s lips. Helping children through difficult situations was not without its problems. Some children were very reluctant to speak out, either because they believed they deserved the abuse, or for fear of making their punishment more severe should their abusers discover their actions. However, despite everything that could stand in Maddie’s way, the outcome often proved to be a rewarding experience, and she would not do anything else.

  With her shoulders back and her head high, she wandered back towards the centre and to the officials and visitors, and spent the remainder of the afternoon fulfilling the requirements of her role. Having shared in several conversations, and since it was the days end, she was ready to relax, and approached the building and searched for Josh and her staff.

  She arrived inside the foyer. Her office and a conference/rest room were to the left, the bathrooms ahead, and the café and shop to the right. There was a reception desk near the corner, which was currently unattended, and there were posters on the walls and leaflets and programme schedules upon racks.

  She peered into the cafe. Aside from those cleaning, it was closed and empty of visitors. She peered into the office. That was empty too. She wandered into the staff conference/rest room. Upon her arrival, the conversation between her staff stopped and an awkward silence hung in the air. Earl leapt from his seat and departed from the room with Kelly upon his trail.

  Maddie caught Jodi’s attention. ‘What’s going on?’

  Their eyes locked; Jodi’s expression was blank.

  ‘It’s been a good day,’ she continued. ‘Anyone signed up?’

  ‘A few. They’ve been logged.’

  ‘Can you do me a favour and sign up a girl, Hailey, on the two o’clock session on Saturday? She won’t be paying, so mark it to be paid for by the charity funds.’

  ‘Is she another of your urchins?’

  Noting the hint of irritation in her voice, she narrowed her gaze. ‘I noticed her when I was presented with the award. She was on her own by one of the pens. You might have seen her. She has long ginger hair, it’s greasy and lank.’

  ‘Not Hailey Thomas?’ she said, straightening her back.

  ‘You know her?’

  ‘Yes, I know her. She hangs around every Saturday. I’ve told her several times to clear off. She’s been caught stealing from the shop, and she takes the leaflets just for the fun of it.’ She paused, scrutinising her with an irritated eye. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t know. I’m forever telling you about her.’

  Maddie stilled. She had remembered her speaking negatively of one of the children, but she hadn’t believed it to be such an issue, nor did she think the girl in question was Hailey. ‘Have you ever questioned why she behaves as she does?’

  ‘Of course I have. You’re not the only one who cares about the kids you know.’

 
She frowned.

  ‘Her parents are going through a break up. She’s not one of your urchins. She’s as tough as old boots … and sensitive to the other kids needs too.’ Jodi studied her pensive gaze. ‘You can’t keep dragging all and sundry from the streets and placing them in your programme. I get it’s your way of dealing with your conscience, but the charity will only stretch so far.’

  The connection to her past caused her pulse to stir and her skin to warm. ‘This isn’t about my conscience,’ she said quietly.

  Jodi held an assertive gaze. Evidently, she disagreed. ‘We can’t afford it.’

  ‘Then I’ll pay for her from my own pocket. I want her on the programme. It’ll do her the world of good and maybe even stop her from stealing too. What she needs is attention of the right sort. That’s why we exist. It’s what we do.’

  ‘What you’re asking will undermine everything I’ve been doing with her. We’ll be back where we started.’ She paused, attentive. ‘And I don’t agree it’ll help her. She’s not the right candidate.’

  Maddie perched on the edge of the table and reminded herself of the conversation she had had with Hailey. The little girl’s eyes displayed her troubles. She didn’t normally get things wrong and she couldn’t turn her away. What if this moment turned out to be a turning point in her young life? If someone had been there for her when she had reached bursting point with her father, her life would have panned out differently.

  She may not have even formed the Stop Bullying Foundation.